The Unwanted Present: Why I Want Socks for Christmas

Okay so everyone has had that moment. It’s Christmas morning, you’re opening your presents, you feel legit high on life and then it all comes crashing down. Some basic b*tch has the utter audacity to get you a pair of socks for christmas.

I mean that’s worse than not getting a present, I mean it is an insult. Either they bought it because socks only really come in one size and they couldn’t gauge you or they know so little about you that they thought ‘Well everyone wears socks’. It is the clothing equivalent of a selection box.

But no longer! There has been a revolution, an uprising. Socks are no longer dull coloured cloth, hidden away beneath your trousers. Now they are an essential aspect of an mans wardrobe and must match the outfit and the occasion. Oh happy days!

Even better, there are now companies that do a sock-subscription (sockscription) gift option. So basically you can buy a set of socks OR you can get a hamper of em sent to you every month. How is that not the perfect present for any guy? It’s like a mini Christmas every month.

So since I’m a gluten for punishment, and since I love to do the leg work for y’all, I went on a journey across the inerwebs and found a really really awesome company that provide such a service. And just a heads up – they are classy AF.

The London Sock Company is a super cool, innovative, niche company with a seriously high quality product and really good branding (in my opinion as a marketer). They have one particularly beautiful line of socks with designer David Gandy and it’s all really ethically produced and marketed with is super cool and refreshing. My favourite thing is how different the socks are, they have classy styles, causal styles and colourful pairs (for my more flamboyant side).

Okay so I was hesitant at first because I thought ‘Umh you are still giving Dad socks as a present, why don’t I just give him the middle finger and leave it at that’ and then I looked on the website and I’m sorry but I didn’t know socks could actually be cool. If these socks were a person they’d be Samuel L. Jackson!

Then (because I am really hard to convince) I looked up some reviews. Turns out everyone who’s gotten them loves them! Including Jonathan Ross apparently (who knew). And in case you don’t take my word for it, here’s a review I really liked, because it’s always good to get a woman’s opinion.

So if any of you out there are wondering what to get me the Christmas to show me that you love me just send some socks my way. They will be appreciated. Until next time, stay classy.

Steve

Christmas Jumpers: Tis’ the Season of Nostalgic Knitwear

Okay so I’m gonna assume that you’ve been invited to a party/night out in the next two weeks with dress code ‘Christmas Jumpers’. Everyone does this, it’s an age old tradition right? Wrong. The Christmas jumper has only really been a thing for the past decade or two. Before that the only people who wore beautifully hideous Christmas jumpers were your great Aunt Edna and Bill Cosby.

Well love em or hate em, you can’t avoid em so I’ve put together my pics of the best Christmas jumpers around Dublin.

#10 The Multi-Purpose Christmas Knit

If you must wear a Christmas jumper but don’t want to splash out on a sweater you can only wear once a year this is a good choice. Christmassy enough to wear to a holiday party yet still wearable in November without raising eyebrows. Bit on the pricy side but well worth it.

River Island  €73

#9 The Classic Tree

There really isn’t much to be said about this masterpiece. If this jumper doesn’t scream ‘I f*cking love Christmas so f*cking much!’ I don’t know what does. *Be warned it has bells and you will be noisy*.

H&M   €12.99

#8 The Classic Christmas Cardigan

Not everyone is into jumpers, I get that. So the button up christmas cardigan is a great alternative, letting you get in on that festive dress code even if the ironic xmas jumper isn’t your thang.

H&M    €39.99

#7 The Dirty-Pun Jumper

I love me a good pun and the filthier the better I say. What I truly, truly love about filthy christmas jumpers is that they look so innocent from a distance. Most people don’t even pick up on the dirty pun until half way through the night. Added bonus: It’s a pickup line all on its own.

New Look    €10

#6 The ‘Hey I’m the Ironic Guy’ Jumper

So we all have that friend. The one we watch what we say around because he will reduce you to nothing with a sarcastic/ironic statement. Truth be told, I am that guy. And if you’re that guy too – this jumper’s for you. How often do you get to wear a sarcastic comment on your body all night? Not often enough I say. And at €10 this snarky jumper is an absolute bargain!

New Look    €10

#5 The Other Dirty-Pun Jumper

Just like the jingle my balls bells jumper, this one is an alternative for the pun loving cheeky bastard.

Debenhams   €31.50

#4 The Vintage Christmas Jumper

Just looking at this jumper makes you feel like you’re in a Wham christmas music video. Awh the feels. If this year you want to save yourself from tears and give your heart to someone special, do it wearing this jumper. That’s what George Michael would do.

Urban Outfitters    €52

#3 The Funky, Not Very Christmassy Jumper

So you’ve been invited to a Christmas party, you don’t want to wear a frickin’ snow man or fat old man across your midsection and you also don’t want to be the only one not wearing a ‘Christmas Jumper’. Well you’re in luck, this Dunnes store (Yes that’s right) jumper has you covered. With the funky sudo christmas print on the sleeves and the sheer knittedness of it, you’ll fit in without having to sport the classic christmas tree or reindeer.

Dunnes Stores    €40

#2.1 The Happy Gingerbread Man option

If you like christmas and you want a simple but undeniably christmassy option this is for you!

Topman    €40

#2.2 The Unhappy Gingerbread Man Option

Well we can’t forget that not everyone LOOOOVES christmas. Some people hate it. If you’re willing to spend an outrageous amount of money and terrify children to let people know how you feel about the holiday season – this is the sweater for you!

Diesel    €170

#1 The I REALLY Like Puns Jumper

I must say that it was love at first sight for me with this jumper. I mean it truly is puntastic. It’s christmassy without being over the top and legitimately funny. And that is why it is my number one pick for Christmas jumpers this holiday season.

Top Man    €40

So what do you think? Do you agree with my choices? Which jumper is your favourite? Do you have an awesome Christmas knit? Let me know.

Steve

 

 

 

Crack The Code

Hands up, who here knows the difference between ‘Black Tie’ and ‘Black Tie Optional’? No no one? To be honest I didn’t either. It’s generally a guessing game when you’re invited to an event with a dress code. Frantically snap chatting you’re mates asking if you’re dressed right, terrified of looking like idiot (well more of an idiot). Well here to the rescue is Pinterest yet again with a super helpful pictogram to solve all of your dress code woes.

White Tie 

otherwise known as full evening dress is the highest dress code in Western society. Now most of us will never screw anyone important enough to get invited to such an event. If however, you do find yourself cavorting with secret masters of the universe you absolutely need to get your threads right.

Okay so heres what you need:

1. A white Marcella shirt with a detachable wing collar and double cuffs – fastened with studs and cufflinks.
2. white marcella bow tie is worn around the collar
3. low-cut marcella waistcoat is worn over the shirt
4. a black single-breasted barathea wool or ultra-fine herringbone tailcoat with silk peak lapels
5. The trousers have double-braiding down the outside of both legs
6. Patent leather or highly-polished black dress shoes

Please remember that top hats, canes and cloaks are only warn in cartoons. If you show up to a legitimate white tie event sporting them – you will be the bell end of the ball.

 

Black Tie 

This is a semi-formal dress code, only worn after 6pm traditionally. It was developed during the 19th century and stems from English and American style of the time. We’ll all attend such an event from time to time, so know your black tie and always look slick as sh*t!

So you’re gonna need:

1. A white dress shirt (please make sure it fits right)
2. A black bow tie (regular black ties are also acceptable, we don’t judge)
3. Evening waistcoat or cummerbund
4. A dinner jacket (Tuxedo if you’re from Merica’)
5. Again opt for classic black formal dress shoes

Do NOT wear white socks to a black tie event. You will look like an absolute knob.

 

Black Tie Optional 

Now this is my bag baby. Black tie optional or ‘black tie invited’ lets you decide exactly how strictly you follow the rules of black tie. So you can get a bit creative. I’d recommend you follow the same steps as above, but spice it up. A nice coloured tie, maybe go for navy or grey instead of black with the suit. Or if you’re really feeling like standing out, go with some tweed.

Now read this sentence a few times so that it soaks in: Black tie optional is not permission to wear whatever you want – it is still a dress code, do not show up in whatever you want to wear. But, it’s worth while taking a risk if you know you’re gonna look damn good. I for one went out on a limb for my debs and went vintage with my suit. Glad I did!

My Debs 2014 – Suit from River Island

 

Semi-Formal or Business 

Here’s a more relaxed dress code. After 6pm it would still require a dark suit but if it’s during the day, a slick suit with more freedom of colour. A tux isn’t required – you’d look too dressy if you show up in one. Again there’s no need to go too crazy but if you want to bed the rule just make sure you look damn good and you won’t hear any complaints.

Click here to see my Pinterest board and get some inspiration

The lingering question is ‘to tie or not to tie?’ Now there is no real rule for ties but what I suggest is wear one, if you don’t need it it’s going to take up too much space in your pocket. You can usually tell by the event anyway. If it’s an event for work you should wear one to make a good impression. For the after of a wedding it’s probably over kill.

 

Business Casual

I’m not gonna waste too much time on this one. Use your head. It’s basically semi-formal but definitely don’t wear a tie. Avoid wearing a very dark suit, you will look accidentally over dressed. Throw in a little bit of colour. And for the love of god WEAR LEATHER SHOES! A nice pair of runners is not an option. You don’t look hip – you look douchie. Your welcome.

Some nice variations, depending on the situation

 

Casual 

This isn’t something I should have to walk you through.

Wear a shirt, if the event has a casual dress code, it still has a dress code. A nice polo shirt can be acceptable but make sure it doesn’t look too dressed down. NEVER a t-shirt.

You can swap the suit pants for a nice pair of chino or jeans (only if it seems appropriate, I’d generally avoid it).

Don’t wear a suit jacket but a super casual blazer could work as could a slick jumper.

A nice pair of non-formal leather shoes can be worn here without looking ridiculous. Just make sure they’re no overly casual.

Click this image for my Pinterest board full of casual outfits I approve of

So I hope this clarifies things for you. Dress codes can be tricky AF but it’s worth while getting it right! Make sure to comment with any questions suggestions or embarrassing stories about showing up to an event dressed completely inappropriately. As always, it’s been a pleasure.

Steve